Meditations of an African Woman

1. I am not as crazy-adventurous as most people think I am. I plan in deep detail, overthink and over analyse almost everything I do to satisfy myself that it fits in with my Big Picture. I may do it for ages or briefly, but when I finally act it is swift, unwitholding and absolute - thus the appearance of being dynamic and adventurous.

2. I HATE experimenting with food! Lol. I'll go to the same few favourite restaurants, and order the same few favourite meals. I just hate nasty food surprises.

3. I love food, sex, money and intelligence in equal measure.

4. I believe there is a difference between using and abusing drugs.

5. I am very deeply 'God-conscious'. Even though - again - my wanton behaviour will make most think otherwise.

6. I'm a sucker for love. A big pussy really for loved ones. Like, I have a tendency to submerge myself rather unhealthily in the feeling. I'm better and still working on it.

7. I love to shock people. I love to tease, with fair warning though lol. I generally prefer to leave an impression.

8. I am a hermit about 85% of the time. Maybe even 90%. I just enjoy solitude.

9. I am extremely eccentric. Much more than you think!

10. I have a goddess fantasy lol. That's all I'm saying!

11. I talk to myself - alot! I guess it comes from being on my own so much.

12. I've been accused of watching porn like people watch Eastenders - 4 times a week and then an omnibus on Sunday.

13. I'm glad we're independent from Britain.

14. I believe if the whole world were destroyed the only thing left would be a Nigerian. But that is only evidence of my typical Nigerian arrogance. Why are Nigerians arrogant when we have no great dynasty that proves our history of brilliance? Because we have no documented history. If we could travel back in time, through our many ancestors, we would find ourselves in a great African Kingdom, were we were all Kings and Queens. Thus the Nigerian arrogance.

15. I have a village girl fantasy. That's all I'm saying.

16. I do believe some people need deliverance.

17. If you check the ancient ruins of Jerusalem more closely, you will find a carving that say's "Naija wuz 're!" ... Nigerian arrogance.

18. Sometimes, I do things that are so bad, I do actually deny them lol.

19. I'm a submissive.

20. I used to have a picture of Kevin Costner in my Bible for a few years at boarding school in Nigeria.

21. I believe in the Big Bang Theory. But that doesn't mean I don't believe in the God Theory. God is the creative force, that science and art both capture so eloquently and logically.

22. Nigerians are the greatest adventurers. We've travelled the world in large numbers. You will find a Nigerian everywhere from Alaska, with his eskimo wife and kids, to the tiniest villages in China - with his village Chinese wife and kids. We traveled and learnt languages, learnt and settled, and integrated. But we received little recognition or economic benefit from it. Because unlike the western expeditions and their Columbus', we did not conquer, we didn't exploit, we did not attempt to 'civilize with our ways'. Thus Nigerians are the greatest adventurers.

23. One of my favorite TV programmes when I was in Air Force Primary School, Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria was 'Speak Out' the daytime show where students from poorer schools would debate each other on TV. These kids would rip each other to shreds with the kind of skill that brought Jack Nicholson to his knees in the movie 'A Few Good Men', talking 'bout, "You can't handle the truth!" They did a remake recently ... I think it was called, 'The Great Debaters'. (Nigerian arrogance)

24. This is probably the LENGTHIEST 25 Random Things you've ever read huh? Lol. You may even be thinking this girl is soooo smart (or at least thinks she is!). But if I was that smart (or thought I was!) wouldn't I be able to say all this MUCH more briefly? Like in a haiku? ... Like, right?

"You pour yourself out
Spilling forth your entirety
All on our behalf"

25. I have sometimes left my dignity at the club house.