Meditations of an African Woman

1. "Think positive!" and life will be wonderful. CALL ME I HAVE SOME SWAMPLAND TO SELL YOU.

2. "Be pure of heart" and good things will come to you. SO HOW COME SO MANY MEAN, NASTY, INTIMIDATING, AND MANIPULATIVE FOLKS SEEM TO DO SO WELL?

3. He's a born Salesman. REALLY? DID HE COME OUT OF THE WOMB WITH A CELL PHONE IN ONE HAND AND A BRIEFCASE IN THE OTHER?

4. You can't get anywhere these days without a college degree. EXCEPT TO THE TOP.

5. The meek shall inherit the earth. BUT NOT IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE.

6. Modesty is a virtue. TELL MADONNA.

7. Mind your manners. BUT THE BARBARIANS ARE PAST THE GATE.

8. Be original. UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET VERY RICH, VERY FAST - THEN COPY LIKE CRAZY.

9. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. MAYBE NOT. PERSISTENCE ISN'T ALL IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.

10. Keep your nose to the grindstone. AND YOU'LL HAVE A VERY SMOOTH, HARD NOSE. AND AN ACHING BACK.

11. Practice makes perfect. NOT! A BAD GOLF SWING REMAINS A BAD GOLF SWING NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU REPEAT THAT SAME SWING.

12. Winners never quit, quitters never win. QUIT! THE FIRST STEP TO GETTING OUT OF A HOLE IS TO STOP DIGGING.

13. Luck has nothing to do with success. UNLESS YOU'RE LUCKY.

14. Haste makes waste. BUT "SLOW AND STEADY" SEEMS TO BE WINNING FEWER AND FEWER RACES THESE DAYS.

15. Never mix business with pleasure. HEY, WHAT KIND OF DULL, BORING, UNPLEASANT ADVICE IS THAT?

16. In business "the customer is always right". SOME CUSTOMERS ARE DAMNED NUISANCES AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.

17. You can't get rich quick. HOW ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GET-RICH-SLOW PLAN?

18. It takes money to make money. UNLESS YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY.

19. Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. BUT DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.

20. Managers should treat everybody fairly. UNLESS THE MANAGER WANTS TO ACHIEVE MAXIMUM PRODUCTIVITY.

21. If it aint broke, don't fix it. AND WITH THAT THEORY, WE'D BE LIGHTING OUR HOMES AND OFFICES WITH BIGGER CANDLES.


My current reading material, and an old favourite author, Dan Kennedy's 'No Rules: 21 Giant lies about success' ... I recommend if the teaser above is to your taste.